Our Purpose - Objective - goal - vision and Mission is to Not generate excitement - but rather to Reclaim serene Enthusiasm ( presently Lost due to The Machiavellian Monster Mash Maipulations within The Cerebral Laundromat Facility - The ( C L F )
I was working in the lab, late one night - (a genetic engineering project) when my eyes beheld an ....EErie Sight @
To graduate From our "Behoovement Movement" - @ StratospherePie University ( With Honors ) You need only to pass our certification exam : Question (?)... ! This one is worth 10 points :
What Is arbitrarily and subjectively Nebulous - Conceptual - Capriciously ABSTRACT and 28% rationalized absurdity ?
You can receive - The coveted Flying Colours Award - Diploma - ...Red - Orange - Yellow - Green - Blue- Indigo - Violet ! ( A Full Spectrum ) There is a pot of gold awaiting your Graduation ! The Church Of What's Happening Now (?) - hires our graduates - by
e mail - Sight Unseen ! You'll never pay property tax Again !
Incidentally - You must purchase our Textbook which focuses on Two Lost Scrolls -(recently discovered)
The Book Of "Dennis" and The Book of "DueToAstronomy" (co-authored) with the ghost of Carl Sagan
( both books are Free ) / you pay only shipping and handling - $1,077.00 , with $77.00 fully refundable if you are not 72% satisfied. Act within the next 24 hours - as Elvis always said : " It's Now or Never" !
(There are only two books remaining)
The Stratjacket and OoopPoopBeDUPE Story can be summarized by Ephesians 6:12
Upon Graduatiing - From StratospherePie University - With (~ ~ FLYING COLOURS~ ~ ~) as an affiliate of "The Behoovement MOVEMENT" You ARE entitled to the consecrated distinction of:
[ "Rainbow Rhabbi" ]-
Also - we have the true story about the Little drummer boy ~ The Truth ! We Know The Story - Who He Really Is ! ...
Pa Rum ( Captain Morgan's- please ) pum pum pum
Or ... ( Dark - 151 Rum Dumb Pum Pum pum ) OK ?
Always begin your morning with two Jeremiah Peabody polyunsaturated - quick dissolving - fast acting - pleasant tasting - Green and Purple Pills ! ( While playing Jug Band Music - of course )
Have a chunk of (non GMO) dark chocolate - chased with 6 ounces of Whidbey Island port wine ( Mighty Fine Bullfrog approved Wine ) - Twirl dervishly - 7 complete rotations - then sit down , - facing East - take in 3 deep breaths , ... burn a stick of Nag Champa incense and chant "nam myoho renge kyo" for 40 days and 40 Knights !
Amen ! ... and Professor Pompous has The True Story Of Creation besides having The ONLY Way !
Copyright © 2018 , Feb. 03 @ 6 a. m.
by The Web Of Life foundation
( Professor Pompous Pious - Emeritus Graciously Presiding -
*(c) - Don't spit in the wind - Don't tug on Superman"s cape -Don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger - and Don't mess around with this Gem !
We will gouge your eyes - run your head into the turnbuckle - give you a flying drop kick and do a bombs away on your pencil neck ( Hulkamania Lives On )
Then we will haul your Fat ass into federal court and $ue your larcenous hardened heart for $1. 7 million $$$$$$$ , (in Judge Judy's courtroom - where she won't like You ) ! Got That ? Eh